is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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