I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
