Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
