I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
