you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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