If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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