oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
