You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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