what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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