I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
