I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize