So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
