Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize