I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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