i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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