I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
