guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
