Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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