Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
