the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize