i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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