I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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