He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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