oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
