plz talk dirty to me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
