I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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