I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
