i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
