I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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