WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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