You're completely useless in the revolution.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
