I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
this is an emotional support booty call
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
