Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
