wat bout pragnant strippers??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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