I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
