3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
