That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
