People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
