$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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