would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
