wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
