So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
