I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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