talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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