chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize