Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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