Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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