he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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