I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
