IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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