i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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