Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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