I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
