Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
