Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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