finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
