I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
