no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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