Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
