the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
